Accepting the Static

I’ve been staring at a blank screen for at least half an hour. Nothing is stirring up interest.

I looked at some of my incomplete fiction and toyed with the idea of editing or adding. But at the moment, I’m not really feeling the love for Mexican vampires and mystical tattoos. Nor am I interested in returning to a traveling carnival in a post-apocalyptic world. They will both have to wait for another day.

I looked up some writing prompts but they also failed to inspire. I’m feeling a little too drained for quirky and funny, or deeply dramatic. Where’s the middle ground? Where’s the writing prompt for the woman lounging in a hotel room bed, thinking about having to pack up her things and her return to the ‘real world’ after a mini-vacation?

Maybe I’m too distracted by the little troubles of life. There are bills to pay, work to crack down on, serious discussions to be had that I keep avoiding, things that I want but cannot or should not have, steps that need to be taken but fear makes me stall, worry about the person that I am becoming: all of these things bubble in my head. I am bursting at the seams with words and fear and confusion. It makes sitting down to write, facing that blank page, a little difficult.

I wish I had a switch that could turn off all the static.

Knitting is simpler. I can create something beautiful, functional or fun, yet the process is repetitive and slow. One stitch at a time, with just needles and yarn, something is formed from my fingers. I can pick it up and put it down at my leisure.

Come to think of it, writing is really the same way isn’t it? My fingers typing on my laptop. Words forming on the screen. One word at a time, I’m creating something. I can take as long as I need. It doesn’t have to be born fully formed and readable. I can make mistakes, make corrections, start new or pick up something old.

I’ve promised myself to post something on this blog every Monday. And here it is, my post for today: I’m scattered and a little frustrated. It’s nothing new, but rather something I need to learn to work with, for life will never be simple. There will always be static of some sort buzzing in the background.