I had a great dream last night. The unfolding had its moments of discomfort and pain, but the end was joyous.
I was living in a huge mansion owned by a very wealthy family who were related to me. The family bond was tenuous, as I was barely considered a cousin. They were just putting up with me being there. As time wore on, I was bumped from room to room and they gave less and less help in the way of clothing or food. Yet still they would smile and say how much they loved me. I was never totally ignored, but it was evident that I was an intruder on their lives.
I continued constantly to prove myself to them. I desperately wanted to be a part of their world and have them approve of me and take me in as one their own - their equal. I was met with failure after failure.
At the very end I was standing at the edge of the house, my clothing was ripped and filthy. I was hiding behind a large tree, looking over a swimming pool in which the family allowed the “help” and the needy to swim in the summer heat. The people there were swimming in a beautiful place but they were still unhappy. I looked down on my tattered clothing and saw myself among the people in the pool. In that moment I realized my relying on others to give me things to make me happy was ridiculous.
I stepped away from the pool, from the mansion, and alone began to tell stories from my heart. I told them just because I wanted to; I told them because in the telling I made myself happy. I wasn’t alone for long. People passing heard me speaking and some stayed to listen. It didn't take long for me to be surrounded by love and joy.
You hear all the time to 'make your own happiness'. I believe it but have a difficult time putting it into practice. Maybe it's because I forget the feeling of joy that comes from that creation and settle into the comfort of just drifting and fitting myself in with the people around me. My dream was so rich and vivid, the feeling of true happiness at the end was so real, that today I feel encouraged to step outside my comfort zone and do something new and just a little scary.
I was living in a huge mansion owned by a very wealthy family who were related to me. The family bond was tenuous, as I was barely considered a cousin. They were just putting up with me being there. As time wore on, I was bumped from room to room and they gave less and less help in the way of clothing or food. Yet still they would smile and say how much they loved me. I was never totally ignored, but it was evident that I was an intruder on their lives.
I continued constantly to prove myself to them. I desperately wanted to be a part of their world and have them approve of me and take me in as one their own - their equal. I was met with failure after failure.
At the very end I was standing at the edge of the house, my clothing was ripped and filthy. I was hiding behind a large tree, looking over a swimming pool in which the family allowed the “help” and the needy to swim in the summer heat. The people there were swimming in a beautiful place but they were still unhappy. I looked down on my tattered clothing and saw myself among the people in the pool. In that moment I realized my relying on others to give me things to make me happy was ridiculous.
I stepped away from the pool, from the mansion, and alone began to tell stories from my heart. I told them just because I wanted to; I told them because in the telling I made myself happy. I wasn’t alone for long. People passing heard me speaking and some stayed to listen. It didn't take long for me to be surrounded by love and joy.
You hear all the time to 'make your own happiness'. I believe it but have a difficult time putting it into practice. Maybe it's because I forget the feeling of joy that comes from that creation and settle into the comfort of just drifting and fitting myself in with the people around me. My dream was so rich and vivid, the feeling of true happiness at the end was so real, that today I feel encouraged to step outside my comfort zone and do something new and just a little scary.
0 comments:
Post a Comment